creative writing

it's not like she writes more clear than me.....

oh the lovely reading break

Was watching my sister's engagement party in Taipei LIVE on SKYPE, and got kind of excited seeing all my lovely relatives. Technology does wonders eh..

Now, to make myself sleepy, might as well just do some typing.

Been applying to countless jobs these days and freaked out because *sniff* nobody wants me.

I think I'm actually quite a selfish person to be honest. I remember praying to God two years ago after a job interview with Jet Set hoping that I'll get the job. And I said to both of us "I'll be totally satisfied once I get this job, because I'll be happy with this solid job experience". And I got it, praise the Lord. Last year in September, I prayed again, asking God to let me be admitted into Co-op, I said to both of us "I don't care if I'm sacrificing a lot of time for this program, I just want to be in there so I can be exposed to those job opportunities". And I got in, praise the Lord.

Right now, I hear myself praying everyday, repeating the same old phrase, except with the goal changed, I'm saying to God, "Let me have a job, so I can get another experience". And as usual, I have to be an Otaku. I find myself staring into the cold monitor every night, filling out applications, uploading resumes, don't forget the papers.

I feel that I really need a break, after trying hard in many things. I could use some time to go jogging, cook more decent meals, or watch more television. But looking back, it seems that I'll never be satisfied with what I have or what I've done so far. Seeing how other people are successful already, I would forget what I've said before and think right away, "gosh I need to work hard too", and thus the vicious cycle continues.

The other day my mind was in a state of chaos, maybe not so many things to do, but many to worry about, as if someone crumbled a thick pile of to-panic lists into my brain, and I'm trying to use that few weak cells in my head to unfold each one. Just then I walked by a store on Robson street, and saw the familiar huge red poster, "Keep Calm and Carry on". I see it often, but I rarely would think about it. At that instant I wanted to hide in the dumpster and weep, I was full of shame and disgust.

I guess I've forgotten that it's not only me. I don't think I'm in the position to panic for the things that I'm going through nor do I deserve to panic, to be disappointed, and to ask for more.

I think I will try to pray for other things tonight. I want to say to us, "deep breath, relax, you're doing fine".

嘖嘖的214

每年到了情人節就會對說 "唉.. 今年又是一個人, 嘖嘖"

偏偏每年情人節都學校放假那幾天, 想找朋友出去都很難

打給melody, "Are you F kidding me? It's valentines day! I'm busy DUH"

O_Q

不過世界上也有好人.

前天去上課時, 日本同學Kyoko準備了心形巧克力還有Kitkat, 上面還寫日文XDD

我和John之前約好, 如果情人節完全沒有計畫就要送對方一個安慰禮

於是我送他仙人掌, 比較家居的他送我他自己烤的香蕉蛋糕 (哦, 我的最愛, 最愛!!) 還有超級特別的奇異果Muffin, 和心形餅乾 <3.>

好友蔡宜臻也是昨晚熬夜做了很棒的心形的Chocolate chip餅乾讓我很感動 O_Q
是晚上熬夜趕paper的必備良伴

不過怎麼都是吃的