Long weeeeekend

Every year around this time, after Halloween, around Remembrance Day, I dig out some Christmas carols to lighten up the gloomy Canadian winter. Back in Vancouver, I spend most of my autumn - winter months alone, with Mimi of course, in my apartment. And I just love the moments when I get up in late morning and start preparing my brunch. Because I usually play my Christmas songs really loud in the kitchen and sing along.

So it's Remembrance Day today. I planned on doing something this morning, like going to Confederation Square to look at the events and pay my tributes. But somehow, I got up at 1:30. And so yes, I missed the 11th hour 11th minute thing. And I'm sick.

And somehow I thought about something really interesting that happened to me this year. And I thought, I must write it down before I forget.

So during early May, I was looking for a co-op placement, and there was a job posting called "film analyst". Basically the film analyst will watch adult films and rate it before it goes to the public. I didn't think too much and I was very anxious to get interviews and a placement. So I wrote up a pretty good cover letter and applied to the job. Luckily, I was screened and invited to an interview. For this interview, I was required to study BC's Motion Picture Act and memorize the regulations to adult films as I would be tested during the interview. I was also warned that I must watch a series of "adult films" to test my knowledge. The whole process would be 2.5 hours.

I was quite excited at first. And so I decided to memorize everything and ace the test. I even recited the Act in the restaurant to Melody while we were having dinner:

Subject to subsection (5), the director must, before approving a motion picture submitted under section 2 (1) or 3 (1), remove or require the removal of, by erasure or otherwise, any portion of it that depicts any of the following:

(a) coercion, through the use or threat of physical force or by other means, of a person to engage in a sexual act, if the sexual act that was coerced is depicted in explicit sexual scenes;

(b) incest or necrophilia;

(c) bondage in a sexual context;

(d) persons who are or who appear to be under the age of 14 involved in sexually suggestive scenes, whether or not they appear nude or partially nude;

(e) persons who are or who appear to be under the age of 18 involved in explicit sexual scenes;

(f) explicit sexual scenes involving violence;

(g) scenes of brutality to or torture, maiming or dismemberment of persons or animals that are portrayed with such a degree of reality and explicitness that the scenes would, in the director's opinion, be intolerable to the community;

(h) sexual conduct between a human being and an animal

And I was told to shut up by her. How rude.

And so I showed up at my interview, and started watching porn that goes with the written test. So I saw 18 segments of adult film that contain "explicit" sexual contents, as they say. And like I told Judy, this was something really ironic. In my whole life, I've never watched adult films, not intentionally at least. I come across of it while flipping through the channels or browsing through a friend's computer, but it's something that I find annoying and I don't go out and search for it. And there I was, going through 18 of them, paying so much attention, not taking my eyes off of the screen, taking notes, and rewinding every now and then to make sure I didn't miss any details. Oh I've never paid so much attention to porn.

Then I had the oral interview. And the interviewer greeted me and said, "so how did you find the films?"

I thought that was the crappiest interview question ever. How could I respond?

"Yes sir, I enjoyed that very much, it's definitely something that I would want to spend 8 months doing and I am sure I can bring a lot of skills forward to this position!"

And I didn't get the job.

But that's okay, because I soon got another offer for a much more normal position that doesn't involve listening to people moan and scream "fu*k yeah!"