Let's brainstorm the things you can't control in life

There are certain things in life that you just can't control. To name a few:

1. when the bus comes

2. when true love arrives

3. when diarrhea hits (believe me this happened to me twice)

4. when kou shibasaki decides to have a concert

5. when you blush

The fifth one has been troubling me recently. Blushing is no sin really. People get shy, people get embarrassed, and their blood goes woot woot inside their face. But for me, it's really easy to tell if I'm blushing because my skin, at least my face, is lighter in colour (which sometimes I take pride in). And as a sensitive person, which I really am, I get shy and embarrassed easily. And when I try to tell people, "nah, I'm wearing too much", and they go, "Nooooo YOU'RE BLUSHING!"

And during my work term here, we get meetings quite often, where all the members gather around the table in the big board room plus several people on the speaker phone. And it just feels awkward for me to sit in there with people who are more mature and much older. And I just feel dumb whenever it's my turn to speak and people are looking at me, and dumber when I speak, and dumbest when I finish talking. And I can just feel my face heating up, but I can't control it! The reason why it's heating up it's because I'm feeling dumb, but how can I convince myself not to feel dumb when I think I'm quite dumb indeed?! Then I can kind of tell that some people are looking at me, I wonder if it's most likely because MY FACE IS BURNING RED. I can't see my face, but I can imagine, from the heat that I feel, that "no Sherry it's not just your imagination, your face is really really red!

And then it gets the reddest and hottest when you realized that it's freaking embarrassing to blush at staff meetings.