les sacs des parisiennes: I miss Mitsuko

Just a while ago, I was organising my computer files when I realised that my BR folder went missing. Odd, becuase that would be the last thing I would delete,.. but it had just disappeared from the whole Kou folder. I don't get it, of all the folders, why that one? So I thought maybe I could go google some more, not that I have some fetish over bloody photos or something, but it's an important part of my memory.

And indeed, after I went through all those photos, I am reminded of the time when I was so attached to the movie and everything about it. The first time when I saw it, it was during early summer. I was fifteen, I was young (not that I'm not now) I was proud, optimistic, and I dreamed about only the good things about life.

I had went through an exhausting day at school, I ran five kilometres in P.E. After I walked home, I made some noodles and thought I should watch a movie; I picked out BR, which was a pretty bad choice for that day. After the movie I was even more exhausted, I mean, for one thing, who couldn't have been tired after seeing 40 students competing to take on each other. Yet the strange thing is, I felt like I was deprived of all strength and energy, as if my hope and expectation for life and humanity were disrupted. I didn't know how to think of it, it was just a strange feeling. I wasn't grossed out or anything, I just didn't know how to respond. It looks surreal yet realistic at the same time.

Probably becuase those kids were the same age as me, since then I have imagined multiple times what I would do if I were in the game. I'm pretty sure this is what anyone would have thought about, would I be a Nanahara? Or could I have become a Mitsuko? Do I really have the guts to be a Mitsuko....? Well I certainly hope not (Actually, I wanna be a Kawada! or Mimura!). The movie taught me a good lesson that continues to resonate in my experience and life even until this day. I actually recorded some of my favourite quotes that I use to remind myself when I'm bored hahahah, but I just loveeeee them so much! (Although I find quotes such as "life's a game" or "nobody will come and save you, that's just life" way too common...)

I just decided to take instead of being taken

I'm sorry, I forgot they were once my friends.

What's wrong with killing, everyone has their reasons.

Not my scene, I'll never die like that.

God, did I just hear this idiot right?

Come at me, every inch of me will resist you.

There's a way out of this game, kill yourselves together, here, now. If you can't do that, then don't trust anyone, just run

And finally, my personal favourite - Die, ugly!

Actually it's kind of sick of me to think of such things, but then again, we all have that twisted side, no?

Anyway, it's going to take me a while before I can recover my BR photo folder. Meantime, I'm just going to comment on two photos, Kou actually had a fatter face 10 years ago lol, she looks like she just had two of her wisdom teeth pulled out here.

(Battle Royale, 2000)