what? it's not friday the 13th?!

I'm surprised today isn't friday the 13th, because I think it should be. Considering what happened to me.

Yesterday, before I went to sleep around midnight, my paper syndrome came back to me again. I thought this wouldn't happen because I wrote a couple term papers already last term. I began to freak out. Though I tried to calm myself by telling myself I will take a revised outline to my professor the next day. Well that didn't work. I couldn't sleep until 3am becuase I kept on thinking about whether I should include a map of Manhattan or a map of the American industrial belt in my paper. Then I thought about should I mention immigration in my essay? I was unconscious, but I could still dream about my term paper, it was indeed a rough and tough sleep.

This morning, I attended my Geography seminar and got my midterm back. As I have mentioned, Geo is one of the few subjects that excites me, and I studied hard for the midterm. Turns out I got a nasty 69%. Even the numbers are ugly and insulting. What a horrible morning. I was (still am) so disappointed in myself, I thought I did alright. It's so frustrating. I like the subject, but it doesn't like me. A bit like my relationship situation eh? That did not help my aggravating paper syndrome.

After talking to my professor and he gave me some suggestions, I went to the library to look for some more books. Finding these helpful titles is perhaps the only good thing that happened today, but not the process. I squeshed someone while moving those bookshelves that slides, you know, those movable ones you get in the big libraries, is there a specific name? Anyway, I kept on apologizing to the person, he looked at the shelves, then at me, then smiled, then quietly walked away. Random.

By the time I got to my apartment, I was waiting for the elevator in the lobby. I noticed this man wandering around in front of the elevator. He smelled like piss and sweat, but I assumed he just got out from the weight room. Then he followed me into the elevator while greeting me "how are you doing?" We were alone. Before I could answer, he continued "look, I need some help. I was taken by someone in a car and dropped off here. And Look at me! I'm in rags!" I surveyed him, typical gangster outfits. Then he said "Can you give me some money so I can by pants?" Wow I thought, what an unlucky day. I realized my elevator came to a stop, this is my floor. I said "I'm leaving". THEN HE FOLLOWED ME OUT. And he said "Can you just spare me some bills?!" And I was freaking out, scared that he might take out his needles or whatever he had to stab me. So I reluctantly reached into my wallet to look for bills. And DAMN the smallest valued bill I had was $10, it just has to be $10!! I used to have a lot of $5, where are they now?! So I helplessly gave him the bill.

I went into my suite, and saw my room being torn apart. My dad was moving the furnitures around the house. Most of my things are still missing, somewhere in the mess. I finally decided that I've had enough. I was too weak to handle anymore. So I took my phone. Closed my door. And called my mum. A lot of weeping went on.

Judy should really go into astrology, or fortune telling.
She left me a message on a section for libra (though I'm a virgo born 2 days before a libra, she still insist that I'm more of a libra):

Every once in a while, you need a good cry to get out some of the bad feelings. Letting yourself get emotional over the trials in your life is not a sign of weakness -- it is a healthy way to process some extremely unpleasant feelings. If you need any solace, you will find more comfort from your family than from anyone else, so try to spend some time with them later in the day if you can. You share the good things in your life with them, and you should share the bad stuff, too.

Well that's what I did lol!

Anyway, I still don't understand, shouldn't it be friday the 13th today?!