I should be happy

I remember two years ago, around the same time of year, my brother left to China. I remember the day before he left I was very mean to him, probably becuase I hated him for leaving me alone in Vancouver. We had an argument the night before he left. When I got up in the morning, I saw a letter placed on my desk. It was from him. I left to school without saying bye, he was still sleeping anyway. I remember it was raining and I was walking to Fraser Heights without an umbrella, becuase I wanted to read the letter on my way. It was truely a tearjerker, I weeped all the way to school, I believed he was really moving out of the family, and I blamed myself for yelling at him the previous night. When he phoned me at the airport, I tried to act cool still. HA.

I guess the good thing is he came back half a year later and we lived together ever since. Man, we had some real scary fights. After I argue with him I would always complain to Ariel and Daniel about how lazy my brother is and how I wish he can just leave Canada. I can still think about 100 reasons to kick his ass. I mean, shouldn't I be celebrating that he's now packing and leaving to Taiwan the next day? Now that my junk food won't disappear rapidly, end of people jumping onto my bed and make a mess, and no more horrible opera singing. But now that I think about it, I might actually be a bit "sad" that he's leaving and in fact, I might "miss" him.

I can't deny that he is a responsible older sibling and he does look out for me. Nor can I be unaware of him getting me a new PC and buying an extra bottle of soda, helping me illegally download movies, taking me out with his girlfriends, and answering all my questions from school. He did quite well, considering his reckless and lazy self. I guess, now that he's leaving, I do think about how mean I have been to him. I sometimes think if I might still be concerned about what happened two years ago.

I don't know how long he'll be out of the country this time. But I really hope I can force out at least a "good luck" to him tomorrow. At least a proper "good-bye". Well the good thing is, I won't have to argue with him for a couple months.