aw gee, I suck

A simple stroll leads to a salty taste
Why am I wondering,
It shouldn't be thought, for the good
Yet I think of it all the time
It's something that shouldn't be cared, but I go for the opposite
That's not worth the pain, why the hell can't I forgive
I have been too patient, but by far too many disappointments
How many people have thought: "if only I could just have one more day," admit it
The present state is happy, maybe not mine, by the way
You often get the tendency to want yourself beat up until the memory's gone
I'm stealing the truth, bit by bit, just to get some aspirin, you know what I mean?
I shouldn't be upset, I shouldn't feel anything at all, I should be calm
You have my gratitude, for I realized my value, pathetic, useless,..
I can't move ahead right now, nor can I move back, oh believe me I don't dare.
Thus,

I remain