Oh dear

分類：life creator2008/09/03 14:16*IF YOU SEE THIS ON FACEBOOK, IT'S AN IMPORTED NOTE FROM MY BLOG. PICTURES OR VIDEOS WON'T SHOW.



So today was my first day of college, well it was just an orientation though.
It took me a while to find my group. I was looking everywhere but there was no sign that says "GORBACHEV". I had to ask another leader for the group's location. It happens that my group leader was not holding the sign, no wonder I couldn't find you.


It wasn't a very useful orientation I think. We were to listen to the falculty representatives talk, which was a bit entertaining. Then we walked all over the campus to see different buildings. My group leader couldn't even find a building. I was the one who point out the direction in the end. But still, I don't see the point of that either.


The pep rally was even more stupid. It was basically a competition to see who can scream the loudest to fight for their faculty's pride, yikes. Yeah, arts had the greatest population, but we were very quiet and passive. I would have been more enthusaistic if I didn't sleep for just three hours last night.


The carnival was actually a display of the college's clubs. I signed up for student leadership program, perhaps I can be a group leader in the future to lead the freshmen, I bet I'll do a better job than my group leader today. There was also a VSO (Vancouver Symphony Orchestra) subscription thingy. I signed up for that one too, they're suppose to update me on their performances and sell me the tickets for only $10, which is a very good deal. I was quite disappointed that I didn't find any clubs to do with music. I thought I could join an ensemble or some kind of an orchestra. I should check with the Chan Centre tomorrow, I heard auditions start this week.


Suddenly I feel so hopeless and nervous. I wonder if it's becuase I haven't been to school for seven months. But it's more like because I have no idea what I am suppose to do with my life. In the past I used to give myself goals to accomplish. And one of my biggest goal was to graduate from highschool and get into some sort of college. Life felt motivated and full of ambition when I had that thought.


Well I did it, I got into UBC, and now I ran out of goals. And I feel empty. I still don't know what I should do with the rest of my life. Seeing other people so excited about university and can't even wait to start their courses makes me nervous. I'm worried if the courses I just chose are useless courses that give me no benefit. I'm worried because I don't feel excited. I'm worried if I'm not good enough to study in post secondary schools. Are my thoughts sophisticated enough? Will I fail my courses? Suddenly I feel so useless and immature.