Happy Birthday dear

分類：oblivion2008/06/21 14:06

Dear You-know-who-you-are,

Tomorrow you turn eighteen, I would like to wish you a happy birthday before I go on.

But how can I start?
I think, I must tell you that of all these years in my life, do you know which year was my most enjoyable one? It's actually the year 2006, when we were together.
How can I describe the happiness I felt? I loved each day we spent in the cafeteria after school, then it's either you walk me home or the other way around.
I loved how everytime when it's your turn to pass me the letter you've written for me. On those days I always cannot help to write my reply before I do anything else. And do you remember always telling me that I can only open those notes after I get home? And I always say I will. But I lied, I cannot help that too, I just couldn't wait to read them all the time while I was walking.



On your sixteenth birthday, we sat on the stairs outside closely, and I passed the present into your hands. Now that I think about it, it was quite stupid of me to give you Mozart symphonies, I could have picked a much more intersting one for you. Remember the first time we went to Metro together to take pika pika's? You hated them becuase you said you didn't look good. But I've been treasuring them ever since.


I've always thought, 2006 was actually a stressful year for me. Not only that I took so many courses, but also because I had to do so much by myself due to my parents' absence. I'm quite sure that it is because you were always there for me that only joy could be felt during those days. I forgotten all the negative things that took place. Really, I have. Whenever I look back to that year, a warmth in my heart forms.


I don't think I can blame the courses that I took in grade 11. But I knew the distance between us was getting wider when september approached. But I think I was punished for that too. Because I felt horrible during those months, as if a part of myself is missing, I felt emptied, I felt I was working hard to achieve nothing. Now I question myself, "was it because of the sudden parting with you?"


On my seventeenth birthday you gave me the best present ever. Really, I was touched.
Shall I blame on the acdemic stress you received in Grade 12? Well, it was really your turn to get busy, but I am not sure if that's the factor that contributed to the wider distance. I think it's because of the guilt that I felt. I felt guilty because you seemed to love me much more than I do. And I was concentrating on so many other things and I neglected our relationship a whole lot. Whenever I was with you at that time, I felt uneasy because I thought I was betraying you, I'm sorry.


I'm even more sorry when I refused to sit with you and ride in your car on prom night, sorry is the only word I can think of, and I have no excuse to make. Dear, you're really a wonderful person and a sweet guy. I'm sorry you didn't get the love you deserved, or expected, really, I am sorry.


Now that we're finally graduating, and going to different colleges, I only beg you that you will not forget me or to hate me. Perhaps give me a call or a messege just to let me know how you're doing every now and then. Other than that, I wish you the best in the future, which I bet, is full of success. Good luck, dear.